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Covid 19 : ‘ How I buried my cousin on Facebook Live’

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The chairs were placed at least 1m (3ft) apart – family sat on one side, church officials on the other. Everyone wore a mask.

Everyone knew of the strict instructions that the Kenyan government had laid down for funerals during the coronavirus pandemic.

Only 15 people could gather for the burial of my cousin, Chris, and everything had to be done by 09:00 local time.

By 07:00 the rest of us had gathered, in front of our phones and computers, watching the burial unfold as a friend live-streamed it on Facebook.

There were hundreds of us to pay our last respects to Chris. He was a people’s person – the life and soul of family parties.

His deep laugh reached you even before he set foot in the house – in fact, you could hear it 200m away at the gate.

And Chris used to show up for people, be it at funerals or weddings. He was a great mobiliser, rallying people for all occasions.

So, on this day, we showed up for him too. But not being there meant it was not the same.

‘We couldn’t play his favourite songs’

Chris was my immediate cousin, but we were raised in the same house and he was more than a brother to me.

He died in Kisumu in western Kenya on Easter Sunday, after being unwell for a few weeks with liver cirrhosis.

The government gave us the guidelines for his burial. He had to be buried within three days.

But with many of his family and friends under lockdown in the capital, Nairobi, not everyone could attend the burial.

The sermon was short. The speeches were restricted. And there was very little singing.

Chris loved music – he played the drum kit in the Salvation Army church band. So it was painful that nobody could be there to play his favourite songs.

I watched as live comments from his friends and colleagues rolled in on Facebook.

In digital solace, people left messages of condolence and talked of how great a man Chris was.

And I thought, maybe I should take screenshots and print this out because this was essentially our condolences book.

Everything felt so different. We could not hug, touch or see each other’s tears. We could not throw fistfuls of dirt on the coffin as it was lowered into the grave.

When a loved one dies we seek to grieve, we look for comfort and closure. But how do you that when you are confined?

I was upset. I never imagined I would have to bury a loved one through social media. I never thought I would crave human contact that much. It was like a movie, except that I was part of the cast.

And sadly, the Facebook Live failed, due to a poor network connection. So I could not even watch Chris’ final journey to the very end. I did not see his coffin being covered.

In many African societies death and life are intricately tied. Many traditions see death as a rite of passage – a transition to another form.

Hence the importance of ancestors – they are the people who have died but continue to “live” in the community.

This, in turn, means that when people die they must receive a perfect burial – complete with rituals that have been observed for generations.

For the communities in western Kenya where I come from, like the Luo and Luhya, a person’s death and their burial are incredibly important events.

Elaborate funeral with 10 different rites

A dead person is treated with utmost respect and there are death and burial rites to be followed, to ensure a faultless send-off.

First of all burials are not hurried, especially for the elderly. A person’s death is a call for celebration, even amidst the mourning and grieving.

It takes at least a week for an adult to be buried. There is loud mourning and weeping, for days on end. People huddle together and help the bereaved to mourn.

Bonfires are lit in the homestead and people gather around them, embracing, crying, reliving the life of the departed.

There is the ritualistic slaughter of animals, and the preparation and serving of food and drinks to console mourners. It is a show of unity amongst neighbours and family.

The dead are brought home a day or two before the burial. They lie in the compound, to show that they are accepted and loved, even in death.

The Luo, a Nilotic people from western Kenya, have among the most elaborate burial customs in Kenya.

There are at least 10 rites involved from the announcement of death, to the removal of the shadow or spirit of the dead from the homestead, to the shaving of family members’ hair, and finally the remembrance ceremonies for the dead.

All these occasions require people to congregate and interact in huge numbers.

But during this pandemic, most of these rituals are simply off-limits, whether a person died of Covid-19 or not.

‘I have only partially grieved’

During the two days between Chris’ death and his burial, people at home were forbidden from singing loudly at night, lest they attract the neighbours who may want to come and grieve with the family.

There were no bonfires to sit around. And during the burial, even at the grave site, there was no hugging, or touching, no handshakes or kisses.

Government representatives were there to ensure all rules of social distancing were followed.

Forty days after one is buried, a memorial service is supposed to be held – the final celebration of their life. We, again, will not be able to do this for Chris.

I have this feeling that I have only partially grieved for Chris. This is not how he deserves to be mourned.

Maybe when all this is over – when we can hug again, and cry in each other’s arms – we will mourn him like we should.

Source: BBC

Business

Breaking: Kellysbookstore opens for business, to push boundaries….

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Kellysbookstore, an online bookstore has opened its online store for avid readers all over the world and the CEO of the company ,Miss Opemipo Fabiyi has opened up on why she joined other firms selling books online.

 

Kellysbookstore, an online bookstore based in Lagos has now officially opened its store and the firm promises to change the way online bookstore operates in Nigeria and other parts of the world. The bookstore according to its President and CEO, Miss Opemipo Fabiyi stocks books from different genres viz; Children, icton,business,religous,non-fiction,biography,classics and so on.

 

Opemipo whilst speaking to CityNews Newspaper states that Kellysbookstore ”is out to become the number one marketplace for books in Nigeria. Our customers and would-be customers alike can search for a book by title or author using their web browser, add it to their shopping cart, and then purchase it using a debit or credit card transaction. According to Opemeipo ‘we deliver a unique experience to our customers as we have put in place structures that support book lovers who wish to patronise us.We are out to do things differently in our sub-sector”.

Customers can reach on using our different social media handles.

 

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Man’s Inhumanity to A Teenage Girl – Olori Janet Afolabi

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Labake is a mentally challenged teenager. Two years ago someone took advantage of her condition, impregnated and abandoned her. She was begging for food and money to survive.

The first time l saw her was in October 2020 when she strayed into my event. She was being dragged out by security men when she caught the attention of Kafayat Oyetola, Osun state , First Lady,who was my guest.

The First Lady took Labake to Oshogbo,rehabilited, took care of her till she delivered. Then she brought Labake back to Apomu,headquarters of Isokan local government area of Osun state.

This year again,2022, an unknown man whose name according to Labake is “Operator” impregnated her and disappeared.

On Thursday November 3, l was told Labake was at the Palace gate.I thought it was her usual visit for support. I asked my staff to take some things to her.He came back with a paper and said Labake was crying profusely.

The paper was the Scan result which showed among other things that she had been due since October 24 and the baby’s breech position in her womb posed great danger to her life.The baby’s head was up instead of down.The ideal position for birth is head down.

I asked the security to let her in. When l saw her, l didn’t need to be told that she was in great pain.l called Julius Edet and Moses Bello (both members of the Medical team l set up for my project “Initiative To Stop Teenage Pregnancy,) to come to the Palace .

They took her to the Health Center. After payment was made for registration and tests, the officials said there was no doctor to attend to her.

She was taken to another Health centre.The Matron spoke to me.She said Labake’s condition was beyond them.She advised that Labake be taken to a private hospital or General hospital Oluyoro in Ibadan because the only way she could give birth was through operation.

For me Ibadan was not an option at all because of distance and gridlock.Labake may not have have survived the stress in the condition that she was.

I decided to call Goke Odetunde, Chairman of our local government .He responded immediately.l told him the situation on ground.He said Labake should to be taken to a private hospital in a neighbouring community.
He also paid the bill.

To the glory of Almighty God,the operation was successful.She delivered a baby boy.Mother and child are alive.

But the journey to save Labake has not ended.I would like to rehabilitate and provide a secured shelter for her.She can then acquire a skill or start a trade.

I want to thank the Chairman for the rapid response and kind gesture.Julius and Moses for devoting their time and attention to be with Labake throughout her agonising hours.

I want to appeal to the men who keep talking advantage of Labake’s mental condition to sexually harrass/ abuse/ impregnate her, to desist. If she were your sister or daughter l do not think you will be happy if someone does that to her.

Most likely, you would describe such action as man’s inhumanity to a vulnerable teenager girl.

Olori Janet Afolabi is a CNN Award Winning Journalist, Author and Queen of Apomu Land.

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What You Should Know About King Charles III

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Queen Elizabeth II, the longest-serving monarch in British history recently died at the age of 96, according to a statement by Buckingham Palace.

Following the demise of the queen, she is expected to be succeeded by Prince Charles, the eldest of her four children with her late husband, Prince Philip.

Prince Charles III also known as Charles Philip Arthur George was born on 14 November 1948 and was heir and Duke of Cornwall and Duke of Rothesay from 1952. As the oldest and the longest-serving heir apparent in British history, he has since held the title from July 1958.

Early life

As the first grandchild of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth, he was born in Buckingham Palace and attended Cheam and Gordonstoun schools, just like his father, Prince Phillip before furthering at the Timbertop campus of Geelong Grammar School in Victoria, Australia.

He became the Prince of Wales in 1969, among other royal titles, after he had spent a term at the University College of Wales at Aberystwyth, where he learned to speak Welsh. Two years later, Charles took his seat in the House of Lords, the upper house of the parliament of the United Kingdom.

Upon earning a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Cambridge, Charles served in the Royal Air Force and Royal Navy from 1971 to 1976.

Family and personal life

In 1981, Charles married Lady Diana Spencer, who became the Princess of Wales and together, they had two sons, William and Harry, who are second and sixth in line to the throne.

In 1992, the couple agreed to separate in late 1992, and their marriage was dissolved about four years later.

In 2005, Charles married Camilla, who became known as the Duchess of Cornwall and the couple lived together in Clarence House, a British royal residence on The Mall in London. However, they are expected to move into Buckingham Palace now that he is king.

Charles has five grandchildren from both of his sons.

Special interests

With a particular focus on global sustainability, he has spearheaded a number of initiatives and charitable work over the years.

In 2007, he started an initiative called Mosaic, which offers mentoring programs to young people growing up in deprived communities.

In 2010, he also launched the Campaign for Wool to promote awareness of the environmental benefits of wool and expand the market for British sheep farmers who are struggling to make ends meet.

Charles and Camilla, 75, are also expected to be coronated side-by-side, per Elizabeth’s request that Camilla becomes queen consort – the title given to the wife of a reigning king.

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